


melancholy

by nxiro



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29078415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nxiro/pseuds/nxiro
Summary: If it’s for her, then he’ll live just a little longer. / HaruTaka one-shot.
Relationships: Enomoto Takane | Ene/Kokonose Haruka | Konoha
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	melancholy

The sight of white walls and the smell of detergent seemed to close in on Haruka’s world, clammy hands gripping his throat and choking the life out of him. There was no denying that he spent more time in the hospital than his own home, to the point that he had every hallway, every turn, every wing mapped out perfectly in his brain, the directions engraved in the depths of his memory. He grew up knowing the nurses and doctors better than his own parents, who never bothered to set aside an hour or two from their busy schedules to visit him. His bed was never dressed in anything but a white gown, and as he grew older, visits to the ICU became ordinary.

Trapped within the constraints of his hospital room, tortured by the boredom that the place had to offer, Haruka often wondered to himself about many things. He rarely set foot outside of the hospital, and whenever he did, something always went wrong and he would be quickly rushed back into the building. As if he was already a ghost, an earth-bound spirit, forever tied to the place he would die in. The idea of school was nothing but a distant dream, a place, a concept so far from his reach. How could someone as sickly as him even dream about going to such a place? It simply was not allowed. 

As he approached high school, the urge to be healthy, to be like everyone else, grew to an unsurpassable amount. He made a deal with the doctors, and as freshman year began, he happily started attending school, as if he was just a normal high school student. Just like everyone else. Oh, how excited he was; he practically glowed as he finally got a taste of normalcy.

But he glowed even brighter when he was with Takane.

She was unlike anyone else he had ever met before: loud, brash, and frank, and although she came off as mean and sharp-tongued at first, Haruka knew better than anyone else that deep inside, she cared about her loved ones more than ever. He admired her fearlessness; she was who he could never become, who he yearned to become. He yearned to take her hand in his; he was well aware of the quickening of his heartbeat as he sat next to her and the happiness he felt as he gazed at her.

Alas, he did not have enough time left to make wishes on falling stars, and miracles certainly never occurred.

Only when night fell did his tears do the same, and once the sun rose, he was back to smiling like the dense idiot he seemed to be. He never showed her those tears; they were well-hidden, and Haruka prayed that she would never see them. 

He knew he didn’t have much time left, and as the setting sun dyed the room into a hues of oranges and reds, he couldn’t help but tear up a little. Ah, what was he doing? Takane had just visited him, too; why was he getting sad all of a sudden? But as he stared at the seat next to his bed, where she was just at a few minutes ago, he lost himself within the depths of his thoughts.

Just how much time did he have left? How many more sunrises? How many more sunsets? How many more words could he exchange with Takane? How many more times could he laugh at her jokes, could she pinch his cheeks in embarrassment? How many more secret glances could he steal at the girl?

Not enough.

It was wrong for him to expect anything out of this life, this body. He should have never allowed himself to fall in love, to wish for more than he could offer himself. He wanted her to be happy, and he knew that he couldn’t give her what she deserved. But at the same time, he wanted her, desperately. Oh, how much he wanted her to be by his side, to hold her hand, to look into her eyes proudly, to kiss her softly on the forehead.

But these wishes would only end in destruction.

“Hey, sorry, I forgot something.”

Haruka looked up sharply at the voice from the door, unable to wipe away his tears quick enough to conceal them in time. The shock was evident on Takane’s face; she stopped dead in her tracks as she stared at him, eyes wide. He didn’t blame her; after all, he never wanted her to see him like this.

“Are you crying?”

“Ah… I am?” asked Haruka, wiping away the tears that kept rolling down his cheeks. “I’m not crying, Takane.”

“Liar,” said Takane, biting her lip. Taking the edge of her sleeve, she wiped away his tears softly. “Have you been doing this all along?”

“I really can’t hide anything from you, can I?”

“Are you an idiot?” Her voice shook with heartache, and she, too, looked as if she was about to cry. But under the light of the setting sun, she was so, so beautiful. Wrapping her arms around him softly, she pulled him into an embrace, and Haruka could only wish that this moment would last forever. 

“Are you crying, Takane?” asked Haruka, resting his hand onto Takane’s head and smoothing out her hair softly.

“I’m not crying,” said Takane, her voice muffled as she hugged him tighter. “You are.”

“I guess I am.”

“Why did you keep all of this a secret? Am I not trustworthy enough?”

“To me, you’re someone that cannot be replaced in my life, Takane,” said Haruka, taking Takane’s hand in his. To his surprise, she did not object. “You’re special. That’s why I didn’t want you to see this… pathetic side of me.”

“I want to know.”

Haruka stared at her. He thought he knew her very well already, but she always surprised him with more mysteries. 

“I’m a timed bomb, Takane. Everyday is a countdown, and one day, I’m going to explode, and it’ll leave a scar on everyone I love. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone, and especially not to you.”

“You’re really an idiot.”

“I’m being quite serious, you know.”

“That’s why you’re an idiot!” Takane yelled. “You’re not alone, dumbass! Don’t you have me?”

She was so powerful, so strong, and once again, she gave him the strength to push on forward. 

“You’re really amazing, Takane…”

“Of course I am. Who do you think I am?”

“I guess that’s why I love you so dearly.”

Gazing lovingly at the beet-red, stuttering, terribly cute girl in front of him, Haruka smiled to himself.

If it’s for her, then he’ll live just a little longer.


End file.
